Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
