its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
