Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
vagina is talking i cant
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Randomize
