Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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