The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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