Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
