Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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