I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
