I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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