sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
