just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
My Sexting was not on an AP level
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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