i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
