So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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