Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
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