Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
