yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
