I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
