I think i peed on brittanys purse
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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