I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
