Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
