I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
