cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
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