We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
