Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
