i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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