chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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