I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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