Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
