sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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