Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
