And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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