You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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