I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
it was like eating out sand paper
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
