She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize