hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Randomize
