hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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