im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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