I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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