I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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