He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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