I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
