yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
and you fell through a lawn chair
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
