Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
