If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
