is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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