Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
