I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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