You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
