oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I don't want my vagina anymore.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
