I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Randomize
