who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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