His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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