Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
