angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
