your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
