Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
He has the fingertips of a God
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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