I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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