like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
