somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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