There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
